I'm feeling that this week, I need to laugh a bit more. Summer is at an end, the weather is rainy and windy, it's getting dark earlier on... everything's expensive... the news is miserable so I figured that a bit of science related humour might go down quite well.
So in no particular order, here are my favourite science jokes!
1. This is one I like to annoy my students with when I'm teaching atomic structure.
For those confused ,this is a structure of an atom- in particular, an atom of Sodium. Sodium's symbol is Na.
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na BATMAN!
I think it's funny!
2. Heisenberg, Schrodinger and Ohm are in a car. They get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him "Do you know how fast you were going?"
"No, but I know exactly where I am" Heisenberg replies.
The cop says "You were doing 55 in a 35." Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts "Great! Now I'm lost!"
The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says "Do you know you have a dead cat back here?"
"We do now, asshole!" shouts Schrodinger.
The cop moves to arrest them. Ohm resists.
I absolutely love this physics joke -it's one of the few I actually understand.
Heisenberg came up with the Uncertainty Principle. It basically means that it is impossible to accurately know both the location and speed of an electron The more accurately the speed has been measured, the less accurately the location can be measured and vice versa. So in the joke, Heisenberg has been told his speed- so know he can't know the location,
Schrodinger came up with the thought experiment about a cat. Okay, its more about how electrons can exist in two states at the same time- which becomes important in quantum physics. But what most people remember is the cat. In this thought experiment, a cat is placed in a sealed box, with a Geiger counter and a radioactive source. If the counter detects radioactivity, it activates a poison that will kill the cat. But if no radioactivity is detected, no poison is released and the cat lives. A few days later, you come back to the box. You have no idea if the poison was released and so do not know if the cat is alive or dead. Both events are possible. Until you open that box and see for yourself, both events remain possible. This means the cat is both alive and dead. So Schrodinger is annoyed because the policeman has basically ruined a key concept in quantum physics.
Meanwhile, Ohm gave his name to the unit of resistance in an electrical circuit - the Ohm. Resistance impedes the flow of electric current, reducing the number of electrons that can get though. So, as the founder of the resistance unit, Ohm , true to form, is resisting arrest.
I've always liked the idea of a group of influential scientists all having a car share together, or doing something a little anachronistic. To me, its almost as a funny as the actual joke.
3.Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and seek. Einstein covers his eyes and starts counting while Newton and Pascal run and hide. Pascal hides behind a curtain. Newton stops and draws a 1-metre by 1-metre square on the ground and stands in the middle. Einstein finishes counting, uncovers his eyes and turns around, "Ha! Found you, Newton!" Newton calmly replies, "Nope, you found Pascal!"
This was one of the first science jokes I learnt so I always have a soft spot for it. I also find the idea of three famous well-respected scientists playing hide and seek rather comical. Anyway, a pascal is a unit of pressure. In simple terms, a pascal measures the pressure an object is subject to when a force is applied. So, the unit of a pascal is one Newton per square metre. So by stepping into a 1 metre by 1 metre square, Newton has made himself into a pascal.
After a few eye rolls and giggles, I had to admit that this might make Newton a bit of a sore loser and I would not want to play any more games with him.
4. A photon checks into a hotel. When asked if they need help with their bags, it responds, "No, I'm travelling light".
Short and sweet! A photon is literally that - a particle of light. This is where the light wave-particle duality comes in. Things are either comprised of waves or particles, and have different characteristics based on which one they are. Except for light- which behaves as both. It diffracts and interferences with other light - indicating a wave. But it also ejects electrons -suggesting its a particle. Basically, no one in physics really knows what light is.
I also love the word play - it's travelling! Photons are how light is transmitted- for us to see anything, enough photons have to hit our eyes. They also travel at the speed of light (duh) so the photon can bring its bag up to its room faster than any porter could do!
5. Q: Before docking with the International Space Station, what must the pilot of a space module first do?
A: Put money in a parking meteor
More of a word play joke with a science theme than an actual science joke but it's funny and relatable so it gets included. I'm sure most of the readers of this blog have fallen prey to a parking meter at least once in their lives.
6. Q. What did one cell tell his sister cell when she stepped on his toe?
A. Ouch! That’s mitosis.
Oldie but a goodie! Mitosis is the process that cells use to divide and form cells that are genetically identical to each other - daughter cells. Only in biology do you have a process where divide and multiply means virtually the same thing. Anyway, for those confused, say Mi-toe-sis very slowly.
7. Two hydrogen atoms were walking down the street. The first says to the second, "I think I've lost an electron". The second atom asks, "you sure?" First one replies, "yeah, I'm positive".
Classic chemistry joke! An electron is a subatomic particle with a negative charge. Hydrogen has one electron and one proton- a subatomic particle with a positive charge. So hydrogen has lost its one electron and has been left with just a proton. It is sure that it has lost its electron because it now has a positive charge.
8. Q. What type of dogs do chemists own?
A. Laboratory Retrievers.
As a complete and utter dog lover, I had to include this one. I once used the exact logic to persuade my boss that I should be allowed to bring my Labrador Retriever to work ("But he's a LABrador- he belongs here!"). Unfortunately, the dog did have to stay at home.
No comments:
Post a Comment